You introduced me to your church family, relatives, and your friends and neighbor; I was really feeling like I was somewhere I could belong. This was going to be my permanent home. This would be the home that I would grow up in, you promised.
I know that I was bringing with me baggage that I had acquired through my early years. All of the placements prior to me coming to live with you, I had blown out of. I know that you had read all of the stuff that had been written about me. My whole life was an open book for you, and everyone else that had anything to do with me. You knew that my behaviors were considered to be extreme, and that’s why I had to leave my last placement, but your home was going to be different, you told me so.
So why is it that now you’re telling me that I can no longer live with you and that I’m being moved to a home that works with kids like me, and understands my behaviors? Isn’t that what you told me when I came to live with you, that you understood what I had been through and that you would help me work with my behaviors? You even told me to call you “Dad,” and that I was your son, are you no longer my dad, and I’m no longer your son? I know that I need help, please don’t throw me away, I’ll try harder, please don’t throw me away.
~
So often this is the scenario that foster children go through. The reality of rejection and being tossed around like an unwanted puppy is the world these children live in, and have to learn to cope through. Some do well enough to get by, others fall through the cracks and end up going from foster care to our penal systems.
The foster child in most cases lives in a world of uncertainty. Even when they find themselves placed in a home that is conducive to their healing and well being. The governmental agency that is in charge of them often times makes changes not based on what’s best for the child, but what looks best for the immediate bottom line.
All children, especially foster children, need to have an environment that is stable, safe, and unchanging. The child needs to be able to rely on the fact that their home isn’t going to be jerked out from under them at any given moment by those that aren’t looking at the long term ramifications of destroying a child’s life by the constant turmoil of indecision.
When deciding whether to become a foster parent, you must keep in mind that it is a long-term decision. We cannot play with the lives of these children, thinking that we can simply “give them back” if it does not work out. If you are considering becoming a foster parent, make sure you are ready to commit to these foster children and give them a chance at finding stability and success for their future.
So often this is the scenario that foster children go through. The reality of rejection and being tossed around like an unwanted puppy is the world these children live in, and have to learn to cope through. Some do well enough to get by, others fall through the cracks and end up going from foster care to our penal systems.
The foster child in most cases lives in a world of uncertainty. Even when they find themselves placed in a home that is conducive to their healing and well being. The governmental agency that is in charge of them often times makes changes not based on what’s best for the child, but what looks best for the immediate bottom line.
All children, especially foster children, need to have an environment that is stable, safe, and unchanging. The child needs to be able to rely on the fact that their home isn’t going to be jerked out from under them at any given moment by those that aren’t looking at the long term ramifications of destroying a child’s life by the constant turmoil of indecision.
When deciding whether to become a foster parent, you must keep in mind that it is a long-term decision. We cannot play with the lives of these children, thinking that we can simply “give them back” if it does not work out. If you are considering becoming a foster parent, make sure you are ready to commit to these foster children and give them a chance at finding stability and success for their future.
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