Nancy came running out to where I was working on our place. “You need to get to school now; one of our kids is having a bad day.” Hurriedly I jumped into my truck and I was off to school, not knowing what to expect or what action I was going to have to take once I got there.
Arriving at school I was quickly directed to an office where security had put my young charge. As I walked into the room I observed something that I had read about, studied, have done extensive research into, but had never experienced up close and personal.
Up to this point I had never seen another human being that was so withdrawn from reality and their surroundings, not responding to any verbal commands, that I realized that I was in over my head. I quickly sent up a prayer,” Lord I need some help here,” this was all new to me. As the child became more and more upset, I knew I needed to deescalate the situation before it became out of control.
Unbeknownst to me, before this all happened he had been confronted in the hallway on the way to class and threatened by some other students that said they were going to beat him up. As I held him and tried to comfort him, he screamed out like a frightened wounded animal that he didn’t want to be hurt or beat anymore. As I reassured him that I was there and nobody was going to touch him or hurt him, he told me that the memories that haunted him from his early childhood had come back to haunt him once more.
My mind at this time was racing, praying that I could deescalate this child before law enforcement showed up, angry thinking that no child should ever have to experience what this child had experienced, and still keeping myself in control, reassuring him that I was there and he was safe.
Law enforcement showed up ready to take over the situation, which meant that he would have been hand cuffed and taken away. Looking up at the officer from where I was, I asked him to give me just a few more minutes to calm the child down, which the officer did. In a few more minutes that seemed like an eternity, the situation finally came to a resolve. I asked the child if he could sit up and be strong; he assured me that he could. As I sat next to him, leaning up against the back wall of the office, I saw that we had acquired quite a group of people concerned with what was going on.
When working with traumatized children, we always have to keep in mind that the child has come from an environment that was probably for the most part violent. These children have endured life in drug infested, violent, unsafe homes with people that are out of control and mentally unstable. It is imperative that as caregivers we need to be in control of ourselves when these children are out of control.
During this whole ordeal my voice was just a little more than a whisper. Constantly reassuring and comforting. I know that this is going to possibly happen again, but I also know that eventually it will become an exception to the rule, instead of the rule. As caregivers we must be physically prepared as well as mentally prepared for any and all situations that will come up.
This story so far has a happy ending. I was able to take him home, and he was able to return to school the next day. Safeguards were put into place to help if the situation of being bullied was to ever come up again. This child is going to take years to learn how to cope with everyday situations, and hopefully get past the demons of the past that infect his present, so that they don’t determine his future.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
The Need for Rest in Foster Care
You and your husband were going to have a peaceful day today. You planned on doing a few chores around the house, then go out to lunch together…alone! After all the children are now back in school – FREEDOM! But wait, the phone is ringing; oh no…the caller ID says School District 000…yep one of the children is acting unruly and you need to go to school to de-escalate the situation. Not only do you have to de-escalate this child, he must be brought home as he is not able to function academically at school for the rest of the day. Maybe lunch another day.
The toughest time for the foster parent is during the early weeks and months when a child is placed in the home. Behaviors are at their peak (once the “honeymoon” phase is over). These children will rock your world. When the “Pride Trainer” (“Pride” is foster parent training in WA state) says that these children are nothing like your biological children, they are correct! If there is a button to be pushed, these young people have learned to find that button and push it. Once the child has adapted to you and your home, there needs to be a time of rest.
As foster parents we want these children to become outstanding citizens, but this does not come without a price. There is much time invested. There will be heartache and joy, successes and failures. It is imperative that the foster parent receives time away to refocus, refresh and remember who they are. This especially needs to happen with husbands and wives. We cannot forget that we need to take care of our relationships if we want to do an excellent job with the children. Discord in the home will reflect in the behavior of the children.
With that being said, prepare and allow for a time of respite. Do not rely on the department to find respite care providers. Find trusted people who the children are familiar with to do respite for you. These children are human beings who will be scared to be left in the care of someone they do not know; would you want to be left with someone you have never met? Have these people cleared through the state so that they can receive a provider number and get paid. Make sure they get paid.
Prepare to go away to relax, you deserve it! Try not to think of what might, should, or could happen while you are away. Focus on your spouse and your dreams for the future. Remember who you are, relax, and enjoy!
The toughest time for the foster parent is during the early weeks and months when a child is placed in the home. Behaviors are at their peak (once the “honeymoon” phase is over). These children will rock your world. When the “Pride Trainer” (“Pride” is foster parent training in WA state) says that these children are nothing like your biological children, they are correct! If there is a button to be pushed, these young people have learned to find that button and push it. Once the child has adapted to you and your home, there needs to be a time of rest.
As foster parents we want these children to become outstanding citizens, but this does not come without a price. There is much time invested. There will be heartache and joy, successes and failures. It is imperative that the foster parent receives time away to refocus, refresh and remember who they are. This especially needs to happen with husbands and wives. We cannot forget that we need to take care of our relationships if we want to do an excellent job with the children. Discord in the home will reflect in the behavior of the children.
With that being said, prepare and allow for a time of respite. Do not rely on the department to find respite care providers. Find trusted people who the children are familiar with to do respite for you. These children are human beings who will be scared to be left in the care of someone they do not know; would you want to be left with someone you have never met? Have these people cleared through the state so that they can receive a provider number and get paid. Make sure they get paid.
Prepare to go away to relax, you deserve it! Try not to think of what might, should, or could happen while you are away. Focus on your spouse and your dreams for the future. Remember who you are, relax, and enjoy!
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Chemical Castration Of Behaviorally Challenging Children
I was recently talking with a doctor concerning the number of children in foster care that are on medications with the intent of bringing their behaviors down to a level so placement would have a greater chance of not being disrupted. The subject of these medications reducing the levels of testosterone in male children came up because of a male foster child that had been on a drug cocktail for approximately 10 years which had caused him to develop to a point that most all of his actions were effeminate.
Researching this further, I went looking for articles that would bring validity to my theory that the drugs that this young man was on caused his body to stop producing testosterone. In “Melmed: Williams Textbook of Endocrinology, 12th edition” chapter 10, causes of secondary hypogonadism (a symptom in which the body does not produce enough testosterone) is discussed and my concerns were realized. Additionally, “hyperprolactinaemia,” the presence of abnormally high levels of prolactin, associated with lactation and breast development in pregnancy, is a common side effect of anti psychotic drugs such as Risperidone and Adderall. Usage can also result in infertility and erectile dysfunction in men.
We understand that these drugs could harm livers, kidneys, and other vital organs of children. What other damage is being done that no one is talking about? The young man that had been on the drug cocktail for ten years was taken off of all medication. Within one month he was talking about how clear his mind was. In a month and a half my wife and I were noticing a distinct change in the way that he acted and reacted to any given situation.
Before he was taken off of the medication he would well up with tears and cry any time he was confronted with a discipline situation, or something that made him feel like he wasn’t being treated fairly. Following the removal of the medication, this young man began to be able to work with others without him balling up in a flash flood of tears. As each day goes by he continues to improve and become stronger, which has been an incredible boost for his self-esteem. When this young man first came into our home he didn’t feel good about himself and who he was. He is now transforming daily into a young man, with an ever growing feeling of self-worth.
We have a growing population of children that are being drugged to a state where they spend most of their waking hours in a drug induced stupor. There are children out there whose brain may have a chemical imbalance and need medication to allow them to function. But this should be an exception to the rule, not the rule. We have grown into a society that wants a pill to take care of everything instead of working with children and parenting our children to bring about a positive outcome through nurturing and discipline.
Children are force fed these medications without their knowledge of the side effects, without them understanding the long term manifestations of these drugs. They are too young and trusting to understand that these organ damaging drugs are being administered without regard for their well-being. And by the time they are old enough to understand, it may be too late to recover from the consequences to their bodies.
It has been my experience over the last ten years that behavior modification through medication doesn’t work. Medication is used only because it’s easier for the professional to administer the drugs rather than work with the parent or caregiver on strategies for the behaviorally challenged child. Behavior changes come from hard work not only on the child’s side, but also the caregivers. How can anyone reason with a child or bring about any degree of understanding when the child is in a drug induce stupor? Many children on these drug cocktails are simply existing. They are not growing to what their full potential could be.
So as parents we need to ask our professionals who seek to medicate behaviors instead of seeking out behavioral change by teaching positive choices and behavioral modification through discipline: how are these drugs affecting children and their bodies? What isn’t being said needs to be talked about and addressed openly.
Are these drugs taking away aggression by reducing the children taking these drugs to a state where they wont be able to reproduce as adults? If that is so, what happens when the child is no longer in the system and cannot afford to purchase these drugs, and the anger and hurt that is still inside them has never been addressed? Have there been adequate studies concerning the long term effects of these drugs? We need to understand the possible side effects of reducing testosterone levels to an extremely low level, if not completely inhibiting the body’s ability to produce testosterone all together. Are we medically castrating our children? We need to fight to take care of these children—mind, body and spirit.
Researching this further, I went looking for articles that would bring validity to my theory that the drugs that this young man was on caused his body to stop producing testosterone. In “Melmed: Williams Textbook of Endocrinology, 12th edition” chapter 10, causes of secondary hypogonadism (a symptom in which the body does not produce enough testosterone) is discussed and my concerns were realized. Additionally, “hyperprolactinaemia,” the presence of abnormally high levels of prolactin, associated with lactation and breast development in pregnancy, is a common side effect of anti psychotic drugs such as Risperidone and Adderall. Usage can also result in infertility and erectile dysfunction in men.
We understand that these drugs could harm livers, kidneys, and other vital organs of children. What other damage is being done that no one is talking about? The young man that had been on the drug cocktail for ten years was taken off of all medication. Within one month he was talking about how clear his mind was. In a month and a half my wife and I were noticing a distinct change in the way that he acted and reacted to any given situation.
Before he was taken off of the medication he would well up with tears and cry any time he was confronted with a discipline situation, or something that made him feel like he wasn’t being treated fairly. Following the removal of the medication, this young man began to be able to work with others without him balling up in a flash flood of tears. As each day goes by he continues to improve and become stronger, which has been an incredible boost for his self-esteem. When this young man first came into our home he didn’t feel good about himself and who he was. He is now transforming daily into a young man, with an ever growing feeling of self-worth.
We have a growing population of children that are being drugged to a state where they spend most of their waking hours in a drug induced stupor. There are children out there whose brain may have a chemical imbalance and need medication to allow them to function. But this should be an exception to the rule, not the rule. We have grown into a society that wants a pill to take care of everything instead of working with children and parenting our children to bring about a positive outcome through nurturing and discipline.
Children are force fed these medications without their knowledge of the side effects, without them understanding the long term manifestations of these drugs. They are too young and trusting to understand that these organ damaging drugs are being administered without regard for their well-being. And by the time they are old enough to understand, it may be too late to recover from the consequences to their bodies.
It has been my experience over the last ten years that behavior modification through medication doesn’t work. Medication is used only because it’s easier for the professional to administer the drugs rather than work with the parent or caregiver on strategies for the behaviorally challenged child. Behavior changes come from hard work not only on the child’s side, but also the caregivers. How can anyone reason with a child or bring about any degree of understanding when the child is in a drug induce stupor? Many children on these drug cocktails are simply existing. They are not growing to what their full potential could be.
So as parents we need to ask our professionals who seek to medicate behaviors instead of seeking out behavioral change by teaching positive choices and behavioral modification through discipline: how are these drugs affecting children and their bodies? What isn’t being said needs to be talked about and addressed openly.
Are these drugs taking away aggression by reducing the children taking these drugs to a state where they wont be able to reproduce as adults? If that is so, what happens when the child is no longer in the system and cannot afford to purchase these drugs, and the anger and hurt that is still inside them has never been addressed? Have there been adequate studies concerning the long term effects of these drugs? We need to understand the possible side effects of reducing testosterone levels to an extremely low level, if not completely inhibiting the body’s ability to produce testosterone all together. Are we medically castrating our children? We need to fight to take care of these children—mind, body and spirit.
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