Nancy came running out to where I was working on our place. “You need to get to school now; one of our kids is having a bad day.” Hurriedly I jumped into my truck and I was off to school, not knowing what to expect or what action I was going to have to take once I got there.
Arriving at school I was quickly directed to an office where security had put my young charge. As I walked into the room I observed something that I had read about, studied, have done extensive research into, but had never experienced up close and personal.
Up to this point I had never seen another human being that was so withdrawn from reality and their surroundings, not responding to any verbal commands, that I realized that I was in over my head. I quickly sent up a prayer,” Lord I need some help here,” this was all new to me. As the child became more and more upset, I knew I needed to deescalate the situation before it became out of control.
Unbeknownst to me, before this all happened he had been confronted in the hallway on the way to class and threatened by some other students that said they were going to beat him up. As I held him and tried to comfort him, he screamed out like a frightened wounded animal that he didn’t want to be hurt or beat anymore. As I reassured him that I was there and nobody was going to touch him or hurt him, he told me that the memories that haunted him from his early childhood had come back to haunt him once more.
My mind at this time was racing, praying that I could deescalate this child before law enforcement showed up, angry thinking that no child should ever have to experience what this child had experienced, and still keeping myself in control, reassuring him that I was there and he was safe.
Law enforcement showed up ready to take over the situation, which meant that he would have been hand cuffed and taken away. Looking up at the officer from where I was, I asked him to give me just a few more minutes to calm the child down, which the officer did. In a few more minutes that seemed like an eternity, the situation finally came to a resolve. I asked the child if he could sit up and be strong; he assured me that he could. As I sat next to him, leaning up against the back wall of the office, I saw that we had acquired quite a group of people concerned with what was going on.
When working with traumatized children, we always have to keep in mind that the child has come from an environment that was probably for the most part violent. These children have endured life in drug infested, violent, unsafe homes with people that are out of control and mentally unstable. It is imperative that as caregivers we need to be in control of ourselves when these children are out of control.
During this whole ordeal my voice was just a little more than a whisper. Constantly reassuring and comforting. I know that this is going to possibly happen again, but I also know that eventually it will become an exception to the rule, instead of the rule. As caregivers we must be physically prepared as well as mentally prepared for any and all situations that will come up.
This story so far has a happy ending. I was able to take him home, and he was able to return to school the next day. Safeguards were put into place to help if the situation of being bullied was to ever come up again. This child is going to take years to learn how to cope with everyday situations, and hopefully get past the demons of the past that infect his present, so that they don’t determine his future.
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